您现在的位置是:熱點 >>正文
【】
熱點2人已围观
简介Christian numerologist David Meade's theory that the world will end on Sept. 23, due to what he sees ...
Christian numerologist David Meade's theory that the world will end on Sept. 23, due to what he sees as biblical signs, has thus far been met with dull shrugs from the world's citizens.
Here to comment is God.
Well, it's official: I'm God and I am a frigging huge moron! I completely forgot that I was supposed to end the world today.
Today is Sept. 23, 2017 and that guy who said the world was supposed to end today was totally correct. But jeez louise, I freakin' completely blanked on it.
Boy oh boy, do I feel like a friggin' DOOF or what?
SEE ALSO:5 tragedies throughout history that Obama really should've handled betterHere I am with nothing really going on, it’s the middle of the afternoon and I realize, "Oh SHIT -- I was supposed to end the WORLD!"
Honestly how I forgot this is BEYOND me.
I saw the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse riding out this morning and opening the first four of the seven seals and I was just like "What are these goofballs up to?" I didn’t think anything of it really. Then, like wayyylater, it hit me: AH! THAT’S MY CUE TO END THE WORLD.
Ugh. I completely forgot. I was supposed to flood earth with fire, disease, and evil the likes humanity has never seen and it just went right over my head. Gahhh, this is so embarrassing.
This pic has been on my vision board for literally one thousand years and I cannot believe that I pooched this so bad.Credit: Shutterstock / iuriiI set up the whole thing! The eclipse, the alignment of several planets and constellations, the forming of a secret hidden planet called Nibiru -- all of it. To be honest I don't even remember what I told those guys, but I just saw in my cal that it was supposed to be TODAY!
Ugh, I just totally pooched it. Again!
Ugh, I just totally pooched it.
My boss is gonna have my ass for this. I was supposed to end the world so many times by now and I just keep fucking it up. What’s my excuse this time? Come on, God, get it together dude. Stupid stupid stupid!
I just tried to login into my apocalypse machine and, Jesus Christ, wouldn’t you know it, I forgot the password. This is just perfect. I’ve tried all my passwords and NOTHING. “12345678” “tacos” “tacos1” “Tacos1” “Tacos1!” “godiscool” everything. What the hell is it? Oh well. Too late anyway, gonna have to hold off a few years.
Damn it.
Alright, it's gonna be 2020. That’s when the world is ending. I’ll just like make all the volcanoes go off at once or something. I don't know. I'll figure something out. 2020! I’ll set an alarm right now.
Ugh. Sorry everyone.
Thanks for reading Mashable Humor: original comedy every day. Or most days. We're people, just like you, and we're trying our best.
Tags:
转载:欢迎各位朋友分享到网络,但转载请说明文章出处“夫榮妻貴網”。http://new.maomao321.com/news/11b39599593.html
相关文章
How Florida could get slammed twice by Hurricane Matthew in one week
熱點Just like with people, the history of tropical cyclones is replete with oddballs and eccentrics. Sto ...
【熱點】
阅读更多How to download and save Instagram videos
熱點Instagram is famously the place to go to look at photos, get distracted by reels, and watch videos. ...
【熱點】
阅读更多James Michael Tyler, beloved Central Perk manager Gunther on 'Friends', is dead at 59
熱點James Michael Tyler, the actor best known for the role of Central Perk manager Gunther on Friends, d ...
【熱點】
阅读更多
热门文章
- Tommy Ford dead at 52: Actor starred in 'Martin,' 'The Parkers'
- When Facebook and Instagram go down, Downdetector's comments pop off
- How to unblock someone on Facebook
- What to know about storing 'verifiable' COVID vaccine records in your Apple Wallet
- Airbnb hosts offer homes for $0 as Hurricane Matthew approaches
- Mars probe records a big hour
最新文章
Shakespeare plays reimagined with furry animals are a thing to behold
YouTube Premium Lite could get rid of ads for less money than Premium
Heatworks' Tetra counter
YouTube Premium Lite could get rid of ads for less money than Premium
Trump makes you just want to binge on cat GIFs, Clinton says
'One of Us Is Lying' weaponizes high school tropes by leaving them alone