【】"I did not collude with Pop Pop."

Jared Kushner put on his big boy pants yesterday and headed to the Senate to courageously testify in front of the public -- sorry, I meant: speak not under oath behind closed doors. 。

Monday was one of the first times anyone in America has heard Kushner speak, and boy were they treated to a show. Kushner began his brief public statement with the opening sentence: "My name is Jared Kushner," which is how I often began my penpal letters as a second grader. 。

The internet couldn't restrain the urge to meme. 。

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SEE ALSO:Jared Kushner finally speaks and we cannot unhear it。

Here's Twitter's analysis of Lil' Kushner first major public statement.。

"let me be very clear: yogurt. is. too. spicy." pic.twitter.com/RqNUztcdsX
。

— Bob Vulfov (bobvulfov) July 24, 2017。

"let me be very clear: spaghetti is too long. i will not eat spaghetti unless someone cuts it up for me beforehand." pic.twitter.com/JgPIa1bNLf 。

— Mira Gonzalez (miragonz) July 24, 2017。

Kushner looks like the president of the preppy villain frat in a movie they're playing on abc family pic.twitter.com/ZXLZLMJkt0。

— Dana Schwartz (DanaSchwartzzz) July 24, 2017 。

these pictures make it look like kushner was just emitting a high-pitched screech for like ten minutes straight pic.twitter.com/O0GpftEhEC。

— Stefan (boring_as_heck) July 24, 2017。
"I did not collude with Pop Pop."
。

-- Jared Kushner pic.twitter.com/I4ZDpk2vs6。

— Diane N. Sevenay (Diane_7A) July 24, 2017。

"You and your little friends will NEVER save the youth center" pic.twitter.com/IvysDe7BhT。

— Patrick Monahan (pattymo) July 24, 2017。

"Let me be very clear: I am not going to summer camp" pic.twitter.com/XFAQi9xEWb。

— Heather Dockray (Wear_a_helmet) July 24, 2017
。

"Let me be very clear: Delta House must be thrown off campus!" pic.twitter.com/K4CdThZ98R。

— Tucker Cawley (Tuckercawley1) July 25, 2017 。

Jared Kushner is always one futura font away from starring in a Wes Anderson movie. pic.twitter.com/UXaVrQueN4。

— Jesse McLaren (McJesse) July 24, 2017。

"I have not sought the spotlight" pic.twitter.com/zZ3rcLnsUX。

— Tom Namako (TomNamako) July 24, 2017 。

when you hear Jared Kushner speak pic.twitter.com/eiwiyezp4W 。

— Dave Itzkoff (ditzkoff) July 24, 2017
。

Let me be clear, I have not taken over for my father as the Green Goblin and I don't know who's been flying around on his glider pic.twitter.com/lapz448Dju。

— Peter Schultz (pete_schultz) July 24, 2017。

— Peter Schultz (pete_schultz) July 24, 2017。

"I did not collude with Russia." pic.twitter.com/2hpg5AZkF。
— J. Elvis Weinstein (JElvisWeinstein) July 24, 2017。

*Takes hit of helium from balloon*。

"My name is Jared Kushner."。

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— Brendan Hickey (BrendanHickey9) July 24, 2017。

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If Congress won't hold Kushner accountable, at least these dorks on the internet will. 
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